Amy P.

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Amy- Interview-Audio 

Amy P.

“And throughout my time in high school the days and weekends that I spent at 4-H and at the conferences, they really helped me to be myself without worrying about what people in high school thought because people in high school weren't the most important people to me.”

So I would invite you to share a little bit about your connection and involvement with for programs in the mid 80s to 90s and how you got involved or what it was that made you choose to be involved with 4-H as a youth

So I don't remember exactly when I started being involved but I think it was probably around the time I was 11, because that's when my family moved from Woonsocket to Burrillville and we got goats and chickens and a horse and rabbits, and I'm pretty sure think rabbits were the first thing we got that  I did 4-H with. And that's when I met Ginny, through there, and I think I just got to like an information thing about rabbits-learning to keep rabbits or something like that. 

And I ended up  joining the rabbit group when I got a horse. 

And then- I was taking  care of  a boy named Travis(Chapman) and they were out sort of near Lincoln Mall, I had a job in the summer being his (not really his babysitter because he was maybe nine and I was like 14) but more like his companion for the day- and his parents watched and took care of this farm. It wasn't their farm-  where they were raising sheep and they were connected to the 4-H scene. I think they might be how I even got into the whole rabbit thing, I'm not sure, or the rabbits might have led to them.

I stayed in 4-H because of my animals but mostly because of the people because I was meeting, because I didn't have many friends at my high school- I didn't like the people at my high school very much- and I really connected with the people in 4-H. And I  think  I didn't know at the time that I was gay or anything like that like I wouldn't have picked up on anything like that myself, my mom asked me a lot and I'd say "no" -stop asking me.

But I feel like that was probably part of it. 

And I couldn't find a  lot in common with the people in high school.

And throughout my time in high school the days and weekends that I spent at 4-H and at the conferences, they really helped me to be myself without worrying about what people in high school thought, because people in high school weren't the most important people to me.

So the time I spent- I spent a lot of time with Katie Marsh because she lived nearby  with Ellis Harding and then the conferences and most of the time I wasn’t with the Southern Rhode Island (4-H) people unless we were at a conference-but we did a lot of those in high school-so- and I didn’t go I didn't go on through college so I was in from I don't remember exactly the 1976-86 so probably 1987-1994 is when I graduated from high school and I don't think I went past that.

 

But I did see Ellis in college- he came to visit me.

Sara- I still hear from him once in a while- once in a great blue moon. Small universe.

As I’ve been speaking with people and- thank you for sharing that-kind of building and grafting off that I have spoken with other folks in our you know demographic -“our age”- and it seems like: some young people have had experiences in youth organizations where the youth have had no active role and the leaders are lacking a caring approach- when they 

 as they were coming up around the same time that we were they were often “voluntold” and I was just wondering if your experience was 4-H different and if 4-H was different how?

Amy- So yeah I mean I felt like we were part of the structure of it, so when we were deciding what to so- especially when we were in the 4-H teen council- I think I don't remember what it was called-but that’s- I don’t know- I feel like we had agency there.

I remember going office like- the state office like meetings there at the table- 

 And  trying to figure out where we were going to go from the extension office-even when we were going to the fairs- like bringing/creating for the Big E - creating our exhibit. Yeah I mean, that was always our choice.

And the volunteering we did- I’m sure that we were “lead” by the adult leaders - but I don’t feel we were “told” what to do.

Sara:You know that’s another thing that has come up is the great reach and depth and breadth of different communities of youth that 4-H had brought together. You know 4-H Youth  in the mid you know 80s-90s came from rural, urban, suburban communities- so though the youth, you know, were from different places and backgrounds do you feel that 4-H leaders and programs fostered a sense of belonging for all 4-H-ers?

Amy: Yeah- yeah- I yeah, I mean I wasn’t from this countryside, but I mean we had like 10 acres of land which was big for our area- but most of the people I lived around didn't have that sort of thing (land/animals).

Yeah and I feel like because as we got older we were less about animals and more about service and leadership that it really didn't matter where you were from, as long as you still had the bearing to continue- then you were part of the group. I feel like, I mean I met a lot of people that were nothing like me and learned how they were like me. And so I feel like we kind of were able to bridge a lot of those differences because of our shared experiences at the conferences and the meetings.

Sara-  Building off of that -and you know thinking back to that time, um- one of the pieces of  feedback I've gotten is that, our leadership, in lending with us-in that process-that there were moments where- echoing kind of, and just speaking about my experience where when I was there with leaders who were not my mom- that I felt there was agency and that I was listened to- so one of my questions that kind of spoke to me that kind of germinated from conversations, again- that I’ve had with (4-H) folks I’ve run into is- thinking back to your time in 4-H, in your experience- is there a time in which you felt listened to, supported, or felt seen by an adult leader that stand out in your memory?

Amy-  Ah yes, there are SO many but this is one in particular.  So at the Conference Center (ECC- which rented space to 4-H youth conferences) - we used to play this game with rocks- I don’t know if you have any idea what I’m talking about- and I only vaguely remember it- it was like you had to pick a colored rock-  and then you had to hold it in your hand and you had to try to guess what color your rock was- and like other people had to think it at you-or something like that-  but I remember feeling during that game like I had super powers and this just this sort of  really warm feeling. Like anytime we sat in that room, and we played games-no matter what we were playing-it was like the “I’m going to a picnic and going to bring a…” you know- I just felt very “at home” in that group. 

In the room there, and the conference center and in the barn. At the conference center and we would do the skits and they were stupid- and we’d all be falling all over each other laughing and how everybody was always leaning on each other and each in each other's personal space and on the bus going places- like- you know- somebody was always- had their hands in my hair- you know and I just felt like very loved.

But if you’re talking about the leaders- your mom- I wanted to like I wanted to be part of her body- it sounds really weird but I wanted to like to glom onto your mom and just be like in her pocket. 

Sara- Yeah you and me both. I mean we joke cuz if I wanted her attention so many people called her mom- I had to call her Shirley if I wanted to get her attention. But as an only child- there were all these built-in siblings-and people that were kind and good and as and diverse as we all were in event the places that we came from- you know I spent a lot of time working/learning with the Providence Area Youth when I was coming up and we have all said multiple times we never would have met each other if it hadn't been for 4-H.

And you know reflecting on some things you know alluded to in Burrivillie area- you can imagine- I'm in Scituate which is a similar demographic- similar right-leaning- “interesting” groups of people and you know when you're, you know, divergent or any anything that's outside of the norm- an outlier of any kind- it you know and there's no visible community- there's no tangible community-I think 4-H definitely in my experience, helped me through the “provincial” life in Scituate.

So this kind  of pivots off of what we were talking about- How did the 4-H  leaders work with youth and really help them to empower them in reaching their goals? 

Um you know you know I think that something that stood out to me that was different from some of my friends' experience in Girl Scouts and boy scouts because the goals were often very adult led- and we've kind of talked about it a little bit before- but was there anything you wanted to add?

 

Um, just so one of the things that was different from Girl Scouts-I was in Girl Scouts for a very brief period of time - for me Girl Scouts was all about- like there's like a checklist of things- that you needed to do. And you know like everything was to get the patches or the badges and I love those- I loved collecting the badges- but I never felt like what I was doing was like-something that  I had decided to do. 

And at the teen meetings for 4-H because (I didn’t feel it as much when we were younger- because- those things were animal based and that was not really something something where I made decisions because when learning about animals there weren’t a lot of decisions to make in that sense) but I did feel when we would get together at a big table with the leaders- the leaders would pose a question and then every would answer it and we would decide as a group and the leaders were like organizational more than anything else. Like they provided us the structures that we needed in order to accomplish the things that we said we wanted to accomplish-like scaffolds-that is what I remember. Like I never remember them getting mad- I mean I remember them getting frustrated when we were off topic- I don’t remember any time when they took control of the meeting you, know what I mean? 

Sara: Building off what you were sharing, I feel like there were topics that we brought up as as youth and young people that they didn't bat an eye- they might have been concerned- how we would have implemented it-  but nothing was sacred (so to speak) we could- any topic that we were interested in was valued by them. 

Amy: Yeah- yes.

Sara: And I think that that, oddly enough, the only other place I got that was church- but it was a lot of the same people that ran ECC…

Amy- Yeah (laughter)

Sara: So like there were similar-minded people who grew up in that caring leadership approach and you know- I'm sorry, did you get to share what you wanted to share and finish your thought there?

Ok- so the next one really just builds off of that- you know-we talked about how 4-H included youth in planning and implementing programs- would you like to share like a favorite example of something you help to plan or something or youth planned event that you attended that that sticks out in your memory?

 Amy- I don't know that I have one that I can remember. Oh I remember at one of the conferences, we planned some kind of pageant -  I think-

Sara- (laughter) I think we can think of that yeah I think we might have I know we had a…a *Gentleman's Best Leg Contest (*where the guys competed- at the time- it was a subversive) contest

Amy- Yes yes yes

Sara: at one point and that was (part) of how poor Ellis broke his elbow- which is a whole other story. we didn't know what was wrong and then, he said “I think I broke my arm…” I think it was Jim B who helped him into the ambulance.

Amy- I think I remember that- (*dog barks* sorry -there’s a person walking past my house.)

Sara- No worries-  where was I…

  

Amy- So I guess I don’t remember a specific student or member planned event- cause most of the things I remember were done in a repose to some kind of prompt- speaking of prompts (laughter) this is just going swimmingly- I'm just like rolling through here:

In the 4-H pledge speaks to clear thinking greater loyalty larger service and Better Living as goals or gifts to bring to your club your community your country your world and so includes the ideal of making your best better- in your experience, that you encountered- foster or support these goals turning back to the community, the country, the world?

Amy- So most of the projects we did were informational- when we were in the small clubs and we were doing parts for the fairs or things for like the float for the parade or whatever,

those were mostly those are mostly informational. And I think I felt like that was part of helping your community- you know like giving them some kind of information about water quality- or whatever- but I feel like biggest way that helped me give back is by just having more confidence in myself and in learning what it meant to be in charge of a committee- or learning what it meant to be an organizer for something. 

And I really think like most of the skills that I learned in 4-H are the ones I use in my classroom- on an everyday basis- and I feel like that’s part of giving back. Of course I would never have thought of it then- that I might be a teacher and that's where those skills would go- but I really did feel like the kind of community we were building together was making the world a friendlier place. And Yeah- and it was definitely a much nicer group of people than I knew from other places.

Sara- And that’s gonna be the kind of opposite coin side of I think that eventually we'll get into- some non-examples- in the next round of interviewing because I think that context is important.  And a lot of personal motivation for doing this is response to a lot of things in my life because of 4-H went right and had I not had 4-H many of the things in my life could have gone wrong- especially mental health- just general failure to thrive-  had I not had that outlet.

So oddly enough- my final question is question was- you kind of already addressed this- so as much or little as you'd like to share -

Describe how your involvement in 4-H as a youth has impacted who you are as an adult- what is one skill or lesson that you learned that has stayed with you?

Ok- so I’m just gonna move to a brighter place-

Sara - (Notices hair- oh is it purple? I like the purple.)

Amy- So- one thing I feel like - the whole time we were in 4-H I was incredibly shy and I never felt like I could just, like, be myself outside the group of 4-Hers. And I think the biggest impact 4-H had on me personally was giving me that confidence to do something silly- and it didn’t matter um how people saw me because of that because of that- because- even if I didn’t seen them anymore I had I had already had this network of people who I really cared about- who also cared about me-even when I was weird, or grumpy, or feeling antisocial there was never and judgment there- so from and from the adults- too not just the kids. And so I learned  (my mom and dad are great parents) but I think I learned a lot about what adults should be like for children-and for teenagers in particular and what teens could gain from a caring adult-who wasn’t their parent.  I feel like that's part of what- that's part of what forms my philosophy as an educator- but it also is - but it also yeah it really forms my personality in a big way. The other day- I was making frog sounds to my classroom and I just don't feel before 4-H that was something I would have done. Like if I didn’t have  4-H, I don’t think I would be making frog sounds.  I made these, during Covid, I made  little like educational videos for my students- in my yard- that I became interested in because we were always out in nature  and learning wild plants and things like that from 4-H. And that's really something that became a big part of who I am- so- does that answer your question?

Sara- yes- so could I just ask a follow up question- what grade do you teach?

Amy- I teach high school-ers- grades 10 and 11.

Sara- And do you teach English?

Amy- I do- I teach English.

Sara- So because time is precious, I will just ask one more question- is there anything else you’d like to share? and then we can close and there are just a few follow up items. 

Amy- So when we were at the big 4-H Conferences- and we met members from other states- I really value that we haven’t got to talk about today. Like I remember a few people -Birch Basil from West Virginia - I think they’re from I think- um but they made a big impact on me at that time. 

Sara- we all have fond memories about all but the folks that I've spoken with have shared with me that they have those fond memories of well you know just regionally and then nationally and then sometimes internationally. Thank you!