Darryl
Sara- I’d invite you to share a little bit about your connection and involvement in 4-H youth programs we’re kind of focusing from the mid 80s to the mid 90s. And what was it that made you choose 4-H as a youth?
Darryl- Alright- I started 4-H when I was 11 which was not my choice- I would have actually would have rather been out with my friends- but my mom was like- you’ve gotta do this thing-
And at the time, her friend, Ms. Connie (Nance) had a program- at an inner city club for 4-H so that’s what all the other kids were doing on a Saturday morning- so that’s what I was doing on a Saturday morning.
You know, I got in and I liked it. It was a good group- we were a good group of kids. And the thing that kept me wanting to go back was the ability to do things that I had never done before. You know, I rode my first horse through 4-H- I milked my first cow through 4-H. Like I worked on my first farm, like I had friends who had animals that were not dogs. You know- and you know at 11, I would not have called it diversity but I just liked that there was a variety of friends from all different walks. That we all had something in common regardless of me living in the city, you living in the sticks- you know we still had a commonality with this 4-H thing- so I just thought it was cool after a while.And you know- there were a few cute girls too I’m sure.
Sara- Alright, thank you for sharing that. Yeah you know-I think we all had those 4-H crushes. You know to be transparent, lol.
Building off of that some young people today have experience in youth organizations where the youth has no active role and leaders are lacking in a caring approach. In your experience was 4-H different?
Darryl- Um- yes. In a couple of different ways. I mean, it was one of the- at the same time I was in 4-H I was in another program called NEED (National Energy Education and Development) it was kind of similar in the leadership way- where they kind of let the youth lead the programming. So but- 4-H was different in that it allowed the youth to create the programming. 4-H was different in a lot of ways but mostly it was because they (the adult leaders) let us take the reins and I mean- they stopped us from “driving the train off the tracks” but for the most part it felt like whatever we wanted to do that we could make happen- they would allow us to do. You know with the big example being the New England (Teen) Conference- you know that was something that came up and it was youth-driven from the beginning- which came up when we were talking about 4-H Regional Conferences at/in DC.*
Sara- Yup.
Darryl- Yup that was DC.
Sara- that was really a great and very organic event. Um- and that’s one of my strong memories too- that New England Conference and how different it was- really, truly youth led.
Even more so than some of our RI Cons, which sometimes the topics- sometimes the youth leaders dropped hints here and there they didn’t force us to choose topics but they definitely put their two cents in.
Um alright so that’s awesome.
So 4-H youth in the Mid 80s-Mid 1990s you know you kind of touched on this- came from rural, urban and suburban communities- you know - though youth were from different places and backgrounds - do you feel that 4-H leaders and programs fostered a sense of belonging for all 4-H-ers? And if so how- and if not could you share an example?
Darryl- Um---yeah- for the most part. I feel like from my perspective- being a city kid- and I’m not sure if it’s- the- because of the leadership we had there that made sure we gotta go see farmland and we had camp and we were kind of able to be placed outside of our environments more often. I would say if I had to critique on any level- it would be that there wasn’t necessarily a whole lot of that in reverse. Um like- we didn’t see a lot of kids from the suburban programs- like the horse programs or the rabbit programs from like South County - we didn’t really get a chance to interact with those kids, except for the ones who might have come up to (4-H) camp.
Or that came on the Big E Trip- or came to the youth meeting (teen council) or something like that- we didn’t really interact with that and even I want to say- even though we had our Northern Rhode Island teams- I didn’t really know too many folks from Southern RI 4-H. So you know other than- you know- folks you see at the fairs- there wasn’t a lot of intermingling in that way- regionally.
Sara- Mhmm
Darryl- I feel like we all stayed connected because we were regionally Northern Rhode Island- Matt, Kelly, you know- the Holmes - we saw each other all the time, but we also all lived relatively close.
Sara- Yeah
Darryl- But everybody else- like good luck- unless you’d seen them at a big event.
Sara- Yeah- building off that- I think that’s how one of my experiences was different. Because with mom (my Mom) at the time working both in NRI and SRI, you know I got to know a lot of the folks from Norther, Southern and Eastern Rhode (Like East Bay had their own Fair for awhile, and still do now) but had I not gone with her- and were we just left to teen groups I never would have meet any of those kids- um- except for maybe a few state teen conference things- um- you know it was very rare for all of the regions to get together- most definitely.
Um- You know- you mentioned- you kind of alluded to it before- with the kind of leadership we were really lucky to have. And you know- thinking back- to that time are there any moments in your 4-H experience where you felt listened to, supported or really seen by an adult leader that stand out in your memory?
Darryl- Um, not that necessarily stands out. I mean I feel like I was in a unique position- kinda like you have your mom- who was like the “head” of all 4-H in RI, give or take, and then I had Ms. Connie. And you know- she - she put me in leadership positions early on- so I was like a youth leader from like the age of 12. So I couldn’t necessarily pin point like one exact situation- where I was listened to from a leadership perspective because they kind of always listened to what I had to say- because they left me in charge of my peers on a regular basis.
Sara- Yeah
Darryl- I mean I was a camp counselor- I was a CIT you know- a chaperone- and I got to go -I’m unique in that I got to go to both a (National 4-H) Conference and (National 4-H) Congress-
Sara- Yup
Darryl- You know so I was pushed into the leadership more so when I had something to say- they listened a little bit more or maybe go with a thing I had an idea on or run this little event or section of an event- um like for the Halloween Party you know those types of things.
Sara- That's great and that leads into the next question- You know- you spoke about Ms. Connie and how we had those really special leaders who saw in us, and supported us- in our leadership roles young- and made sure we had those opportunities um -so you know- so tell me a little more about how the 4-H leaders worked with youth to reach their goals and empower youth in your experience- was leading and working with youth unique to 4-H?
You kind of talked about how, you know, putting you in those positions to have that leadership - do you want to share any more about how that helped you reach your goal or anything else about them working with you that was unique to RI 4-H?
Darryl- I mean it gives you a lot of confidence as an 11-12 year old kid to be responsible for other 11 and 12 year old kids- or younger kids so from that perspective it gave me a lot of confidence I didn’t get from anywhere else. Well- more confidence than I already had- um you know and just by trusting- there was a lot of trust that goes into alright ‘D’- you’re gonna be responsible for making sure all these kids make it through the forest- at a summer camp.
Sara- Yeah
Darryl- You know, and it lead to a lot of opportunities- you know- having my mom (Francis Marsh), Ms. Connie and Ms. Pat and Shirley and Whitney- really like put me in positions to succeed- gave me a lot of positive reinforcement- early on- where I don’t think a lot of kids get that. Right now? Sure. But- definitely I feel like I was one of the lucky ones that I got to be able to represent 4-H on the national level early- you know- both as a delegate and then as a staff member. So you know- that gives me a unique skill set because now at/in high school- you know- 14, 15, 16- I can say you know that I helped to put these events together
Sara- Right.
Darryl- Or I helped facilitate these conversations um- which in turn led me to being on more than one National Staff over the course of my high school career.
I facilitated knowing that I had done it successfully before gave me the confidence to do it in other areas. So I think those are definitely unique at least from my experience because I don’t think that a lot of programs would give me that experience early on. Like you kind of have to build yourself up to adulthood before they’ll let you facilitate a conversation- like a round table discussion whereas- in 4-H was like, “Yeah- you wanna do that, let's do that.”
Sara- Yes. I definitely see that trend- we had those leadership opportunities early on and often. And I also often feel lucky that you know - it felt to me that it was a very unique time. Um- and to me it felt like friends of mine in other organizations that were youth organizations didn’t get that opportunity and you know I think that’s what made me so curious to know about other people’s experiences in 4-H.
I think I would invite you to talk about this a little more in depth- we started to talk about it and it says in your experience how did 4-H include youth in planning and implementing programs?
And would you like to share a favorite example of something you helped to plan or a youth-planned event that you attended?
So either one of those- we talked a little be about New England Convention- if you’d like to go more in depth about that- or if there’s anything else you’d like to share.
Darryl- I mean, I was at Congress because of like- I still don’t know how I got to Congress- I just know that I applied and Whitney was like- I’m gonna get you there and all of a sudden I was getting sponsored by John Deer -so you know- they - they leadership at 4-H at putting you in positions to succeed- like I said, I’m one of the lucky ones that went to Congress and then go to Conference- and then go to Conference Again- as staff. Like I don’t think that happens without being placed into positions.
You know- obviously I have to do my end (of things) be good at- but that first conference is where the idea for New England Teen Conference came up and we were able to pull that off and you know that’s kind of like a legacy thing. I don’t know if they still do it, but I know they did it for a while.
You know that’s a thing that we developed- as youth and that they just let us run with um- and I think the fact that is was able to move from all over New England and that people got to experience that - it connected us- A. with more people from our state- but also with- New England is a small place in relation to other states- we can fit into Michigan twice and in Texas like 17 times-
Sara- Yea
Darryl- you know we’re a small area and it was very cool to connect with other people in our small area- and see other places. Like I don’t think I’ve been to Maine since the New England Conference in Maine (1996)
Sara- Wow
Darryl- So like I’ve had no other reason to be in Maine- so that alone that’s my one Maine experience- the one time I got to see- you know- what do you call those things…um…moose- up close. You know I can say, “I’ve been to Orono” which to me feels like it’s the top of the world because it took so long to get there- you know? I think that those- those opportunities that the 4-H leadership is unique in that they give the youth the opportunity to do those things. Cause even when you’re not sure that you could do it- um you know they’ll push you to at least “apply” for it- because you never know. Right? And that’s a life-long lesson.
Sara- Would you like to share any more about your experience returning to National 4-H in a leadership role?
Um- yeah it was crazy. I don’t know exactly how the process works but I had mentioned to Shirley that I wanted to do it and she put my hat in the ring- and then they told me I was going to go. It was definitely different being on that side of it. So that was my second time being on a national level staff- I had actually gotten on the NEED staff first- as a Sophomore in high school.
It’s different when you’re responsible for the things- which really levels up your leadership- and I got to use a lot of the skills I got from Ms. Connie and Shirley and my mom and I got to use my skill set. You know? I got to use my skill set.
And sometimes you get to be- when you’re a youth- on a national level staff- sometimes its like you know you’re like the 15th guy on a basketball team. Where you know you’re not gonna get to play- you’re not gonna see the ball you’re going to sit on the bench and cheer when the stars come on. But with 4-H it was really like- “Okay- let’s put together this ice cream social- Darryl- you work with ---”and they paired us up with an adult- but we worked together with the adults to plan the ice cream social. That's your thing. You’re going to speak before the talent show- that’s your thing.
Like so- we had to put these things together and at the same time- I was the national representative for Rhode Island, right? So I’m representing Rhode Island too, and now I have a team from Rhode Island that’s also there and so I can’t make Rhode Island look bad- obviously. But anything that happened bad for them was a black on everybody- you know? So it was different being in charge in like of your peers- but I feel like being able to do the camps and being chosen to be a Counselor in Training and then a Counselor, and leading this youth group and that youth group- and have an experience from Conference and knowing what Conference was supposed to look like from the year before you know I think that it was definitely something that was awesome.
It was probably one of my better memories from 4-H because it was one of those things where it was like, “You’re a good leader- we see it.” And um- from what I do understand from the process is that I had to have been recommended by more than one person. So that means that more than one person saw something in what I was doing as a delegate and that is directly what- that directly coincides with how well they let us lead in Rhode Island. You know, I don’t know how many Rhode Islanders have been on that staff since- but we got one.
Sara- And I think you were recommended by a few of your Rhode Island peers as well- so you know- it’s been a minute since we’ve had anyone from Rhode Island on a national team- I think there was one other in the early 2000s- I don’t think there’s been one since. So that’s an awesome experience and like you said, leading at that national level is just very different. And when I was younger my mom had taken me with her for er work trip and I got to see the national teen committee and see them at work and I looked at her and said, “Ugh- this is work!”
Darryl- Yeah- we were coordinating plane rides and who’s picking who up from the airport and all the logistical things about flights- who’s driving in and who’s not. Who’s eating where with who’s staying where with who-who’s on what floor. Those were all things that they allowed me to be a part of- it wasn’t just- “Go sit over there in a corner kid.” We got this. Very empowering.
Sara- Thank you for sharing that. That’s great and that’s a part of your 4-H story I really didn’t know. At that point in my 4-H Journey I was doing very different things-um, and it was really cool to attend New England Teen Conference- um, it was one of the first teen conferences I had literally nothing really to do with…I just had to show up, to enjoy it, which was such a weird feeling- but it was so awesome. You guys did such a great job-it was a lot of fun. (Also for the record, it was the first time I ever heard Dancing Queen by Abba- I am not sure how that happened- but it happened at that dance- I remember it very clearly.)
Darryl- Yeah- dancing queen.
Sara-
You know in the 4-H pledge -it speaks to clearer thinking- greater loyalty, larger service and better living goals or gifts to bring to our club, community, country, and world- and the motto includes the ideal of making your best better. In your experience, and you’ve spoken a lot about this already- how did the 4-H programs you experienced foster these community based goals? These directives kind of take back- not just locally but globally, you’ve spoken about going to national teen conferences, you’ve talked about New England Teen conference. Um- you know is there anything else you’d like to share-
Darryl- Yeah- funny, you know- the larger service portion of that is that 4-H was my first, and obviously at 11 you don’t know what businesses are called but- 4-H was my first experience working in a non-profit- or with a non-profit or being part of a non-profit. Um- and being in positions to kind of give back to your community and do those things which led to like a strong part of my life was in the non-profit sector. You have 4-H and the NEED program which was a non-profit, for awhile I was attempting to start my own non-profit which is still not dead but- it is what it is- um-
Sara- It’s taking a break.
Darryl- My years in City Year- and working through the Americorps program, and being on the founding team for City Year Detroit, which is you know- hometeam- you know. You know I don’t know I have the love to be in service without 4-H- if that makes sense. You know it seemed natural to me to go and work in a program that does community service full time- you know after 4-H- and you know do some similar things- 4-H is the catalyst for all that. So I think it put me in the service mindset- in the non-profit mindset- early- early on. You know to be- like- to give better service and to help people and to be a better person for the world.
Sara- Exactly- I think you echo - and I can only speak for myself, but you definitely echo my own experience- just seeing the need out there- and finding ways where we can make an impact on our community- and the service based learning and I learned more about that stuff from 4-H than I did in church- to be honest. Giving back to the community.
You’ve kind of already answered this a couple of ways- but I’ll give you an opportunity to respond in a different way. Describe how your involvement in 4-H as a youth has impacted who you are as an adult today and what is one skill or lesson that you learned that has stayed with you?
Darryl- I’m a fantastic public speaker because of the tools I acquired in 4-H- with regard to public speaking. Which, in turn, has led me to be able to speak in front of thousands of people, and be on the radio, and be a DJ and a wedding host- you know, my comfort level in front of large groups started at 4-H. You know- that’s probably the biggest- because of the way I make a living- you know- outside of the post office. You know- I host a trivia night, I’m a wedding DJ. You know having that skill set early on- that public speaking skill set early on- is you know been my bread and butter just being in front of people. Like you know- my fledgling acting career- you know- that’s public speaking.
Sara- That’s definitely one of that of the things that sticks out in my mind are all the public speaking we did- getting that experience so young and so many of us have carried on with it and so many of us have continued to go out into the community and work with youth organizations- or non-profits and I appreciated you sharing that and it’s awesome to know that you’re pursuing your voice acting and things in the community.
Is there anything else you’d like to share about your experience in 4-H that we haven’t had the chance to talk about?
Darryl- I mean I feel we pretty much covered it all- the only thing I might add is that you know some of my coolest relationships or friendships are 4-H relationships. You and I have known each other since what- 12 years old? And you know it’s rare to find people early in life that you keep throughout your entire life. And like 4-H has built a lot of those relationships for me- um- I think, aside from all the things that you learn at 4-H- you build these long-lasting relationships and it’s like. Especially the Northern Rhode Island team- because we were pretty close-knit, like it’s always good to see those people, regardless of- you know I saw Megan Holmes at the grocery store the other day, and it was like, “Oh shi*t- Meagan!” she was mortified because I don’t think she expected to see me at the grocery store. SO you know but I look forward to seeing and I talk often about you know my 4-H experience and my time working on the farm with Matt- and all the little super deep in the woods parties that you see in a lot of “Jason” movies- and I feel likes it’s made me a much more well rounded person because I have what I like to call, “My suburban skill set.”
Sara- There you go.
Darryl- I can ride a horse- I can milk a cow or “pull” eggs from a chicken um- you know I know how to tend a garden. But I also- I’m a better public speaker and a good net worker and I think those are the early skills that you develop in a program like 4-H.
Sara- With that we can conclude our formal interview- thank you so much for your time.
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